Tuesday, May 29, 2018


As we wind down the year we enter into a stressful time of year. Stress can cause us to loose empathy and understanding as we are wrapped up in our own worlds. I know for me this is definitely true as I go all out to tackle the to do list thinking that once I get done I can relax. Maybe that is my way of coping or trying to take some level of control.

To add to the normal end of the year stress we are in the midst of moving and packing up a house we lived in for 15 years. We also decided to have the floors replaced, rooms painted, and have the house painted in the new house. Talk about biting of more than you can chew.

As we moved along in this process we realized we could save money by doing some things ourselves so we decided to rip up the current flooring, replace the lighting in kitchen and dining room, and paint several rooms, add shiplap to the powder room and laundry room, and move 72 boxes of flooring up two flights of stairs (as I looked at the delivery slip it weighed over 2,000 pounds).

Needless to say I have stretched myself way too thin. I haven't been getting home until way after 11:00 every night for the past week and a half. I totally missed encouraging and coaching Aleigh about an interview for an internship she had today. Our current home is a disaster zone with boxes and bins strewn everywhere. My need to get things done and try and take control has left me exhausted and not able to see what is happening around me.

I wonder how many times it will take me to learn that getting wrapped up in the stress and chaos doesn't work for me or anyone else. I stop doing the things that matter, like investing in others, especially my kids.

Let's hope that this is the last time.

Monday, March 5, 2018


Have you ever had one of those weeks where everything seemed to go wrong and the more you tried to fix things the worse they seemed to get? Well last week was one of those weeks and in the midst of that our family made one of our hardest decisions. We came to terms with the fact that we need to sell our house and downsize. After dozens of conversations and wrestling with the idea of moving we decided to put our house on the market.

Jenna won't be going back to work full time and most likely not even part time. The recovery from surgery and chemotherapy has been more challenging than either of us anticipated. With that in mind we were faced with some very big decisions. Do we continue living in the only house our girls have called home or move to a new house so that we can continue to enjoy new and exciting experiences and make lasting memories? As we contemplated this decision it became clear over time that we want to build lasting memories. We value building those memories rather than things.

I wish I could say that we are super upbeat about our decision and looking at new houses that are half our size, but I would be lying. I wish I could say that both of our girls are okay, but that is not the truth. Their world is once again being turned upside down. We know that once the dust settles we all will be okay and I think that there is a little part of each of us that is excited about a new adventure.

It makes me think of the students that we come across that are constantly moving and how that uncertainty impacts them, or the students who have little voice in their families, or the students who don't have their own space to think or create. It is easy to assume that our students are doing well because they show up and do what we ask, yet beneath the surface it may be a huge struggle for them just to be there. We need to connect with our students and with each other to listen, to understand, to build trust so that we can create amazing schools and amazing classrooms. We may not be able to  change our circumstances or the circumstances of our students, but what we can do for our students is to model how we handle difficult situations. We can teach them that it is okay to be vulnerable and to trust others. We can teach them that they don't have to do it all alone.

While this post was not the easiest to write, I do feel it was important to write as I continue to reflect on how effective I am as the school leader. Am I modeling and teaching to our students and staff how to deal with adversity? Am I really connecting with all of our students and staff or am I too wrapped up in my own stuff? Maybe by writing this post I can begin to do that and I know that moving isn't the end. It is the beginning that will offer new experiences and new memories. That is my hope.

Monday, February 5, 2018

I am a nerd

The other day our youngest daughter was talking about an experience she had in school where the students wrote down all of the negative things they have been told on  index cards and the teacher then took them through an activity where they let go of these negative statements. The students "let go" of the negative comments so that they could begin to hear the positive comments. One of the negative comments that my daughter wrote down was that she was a nerd. It made me think about the word nerd and all the negativity surrounding the word.

Sure, when we think of nerd the images of George McFly or Sheldon Cooper come to mind. The socially awkward, science guy who is in his own world. But, aren't we all a little bit nerdy? We all have interests or passions that we pursue to the point we may be called names like  techie, bookworm, sports geek, skater, meathead, Trekkie, or Parrothead. These are just few of the names to groups of people that are labeled for their passions. 

One of my biggest passions is learning. Over the last couple of years I started to listen to podcasts when I am running, on the elliptical machine, or on my commute. I started listening to podcast on education, leadership, and history. This lead to other discoveries and new podcasts to listen to. I am drawn in by the stories, history, and for the sake of learning something I didn't know anything about.  As I was driving my daughter to a friends house I was near the end of a podcast on hang gliding and she gave me a look like what are you listening to? And why are you listening to it?  I realized at that point I am a bit of a nerd. I like to learn about new and different topics. I love to read about leadership and culture. My wife and I are fascinated by documentaries and we talk about them for weeks after watching them. I enjoy learning for the sake of learning. 

I was never a good student growing up and it wasn't until college that I did well. I wonder if that is because I didn't want to be labeled as a nerd or maybe I thought that being smart or doing well in school was uncool. As a dad to two teenage daughters I am way past trying to be cool and I know that I am a bit nerdy, but I am okay with that. 

I do wonder about the students that we work with and if they feel comfortable enough to embrace and pursue their passions.  Do we support them? encourage them? advocate for them? celebrate them? Or do we allow others to make those devastatingly negative comments that cut to the core? I love being a principal and  knowing that every day I have the opportunity to connect with students and help them pursue their passions. Perhaps it is the fact that I have embraced my nerdiness and that I am comfortable in my own skin that helps me connect with students on their level. 

I do know that we need to help students find their passions and celebrate those passions. I believe it starts with knowing and embracing your own passions. 

So, are you a nerd? a techie? a bookworm? a sports geek? or a skater?

Tuesday, January 16, 2018

Try, try, try again.

Here is the third and final part of a three part series exploring the connection between failure, vulnerability, and the importance of iteration. The previous parts were focused on the importance of learning from failure and how vulnerability is a strength.

Part Three - Try, Try, Try Again

With choosing to be vulnerable we open ourselves up for risk taking and hopefully greater success. We also open up ourselves for things not working out as we would hope and not meeting our goal or failing to succeed with an initiative. Carol Dweck shares that "failure can be painful experiences. But it doesn't define you." Being vulnerable and failure are both key components in learning and growth. Yet, we often shy away from being open to learning from failure. 

My daughter, Caitlin, gave me the video game Injustice: Gods Among Us for Christmas and we played the game over winter break. As I continued to get beat by Caitlin I realized that the only way to get better was to try, try, try again. I am not a gamer and I don't play video games often enough to have an innate understanding of how to use the controller. I needed several iterations and tutorials to have some understanding of how to use multiple buttons in the right sequence in order for my superhero character to do special moves. Video games are designed and played by gamers, or in my case a novice, with the understanding that the player will fail multiple times in order to understand how to ultimately win the game. 

Prior to break I visited a fourth grade classroom where students were exploring "energy" The students were working in groups to try and create different ways to get a marble to end up in a cup. In talking with the students and observing their progress it was obvious that students were not afraid to try a method, fail, try another method, fail, and this continued until they were successful. Failing was a huge part of the learning that was happening.

In Simon Sinek's book, Start With Why, he shares about the Wright brothers and how they would take five sets of spare parts each time they attempted to fly their plane because they knew that is how many trials they would attempt for the day. They started each day knowing they would fail, but also learn through that process, until ultimately they were successful with the first flight. 

One of my favorite videos for inspiration is of Heather Dorniden running the 600 meter race at the 2008 Big Ten Indoor Championship. The runners complete three laps and she falls heading into the last lap.

In an interview Heather talked about finishing the race. "The last 50 meters, I hit a gear that I never knew I had." If she had not had learned perseverance and the importance of learning from past failures she would never have reached her potential.

In order to be our best we must be vulnerable to take risks where we may fail, but those failures become lessons in which we learn to get back up and try again.

Wednesday, January 3, 2018


As I have reflected on the past year and began to think about my #oneword2018 I was contemplating a handful of words. There is no doubt that 2017 was a challenging year and to be completely honest I was beginning to harbor some anger and frustration. Jenna's diagnosis and treatment was our main focus for most of the year and we missed out on many things this past year and our lives will forever be changed. It is easy to become bitter or angry with the fact that we missed out on a year long planned vacation with friends, that we couldn't celebrate our anniversary in the crazy creative ways we have had in the past, and we didn't enjoy the quiet summer evenings on the patio.

In 2018 I want to be grateful at home, at school, and in life. I know that this will take intentional practice and letting go of the things that I cannot control. It starts with making a list of the things in my life that I am grateful for and realizing how blessed I am.

Here is a start.


Jenna - I am married to my best friend. She has been my rock, inspiration, confidant, she continues to offer an enourmous amount of encouragement, and is the love of my life.

Aleigh - She is a tremendous student, gifted artist, soon to be driver, and a sensitive, caring, thoughtful young lady.

Caitlin - Crazy smart, quietly competitive, confident, almost teenager, compassionate, and a Star Wars and DC Comic loving kid.

I am grateful that I have three wonderful girls that bring love, joy, and laughter to my life.


Everyday that I come to work I get the opportunity to interact with our students and know that in some small way I am making a difference. I have the privilege of leading dedicated, caring teachers who truly enjoy what they do. I am grateful that I work in an excellent school district that is in a great community.


As we have been busy decluttering our crawl space I came across two photographs that brought back memories. The first was a picture of myself and others from a mission trip I took to the Czech Republic where we taught English to high school students. It made me think of all the other mission trips I took and the summers I spent volunteering as a camp counselor at Silver Birch Ranch in Wisconsin. I am grateful for these experiences as they provided the foundation for my passion of making a difference in the lives of students.

The second was a picture of my grandfather and me standing by my car in Arizona after I graduated from college. He, along with my grandmother, drove across the country to see me graduate. He celebrated the accomplishments of his grand kids and he was so proud of all of us. I am grateful that he showed me the importance of family and celebration.

As I wrote this post I am reminded that we all have struggles and situations in our lives that are challenging. Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% how you react - John Maxwell. I choose to be grateful.

Friday, December 29, 2017

Year in Review

Before I write write my #Oneword2018 I wanted to reflect on 2017. Without a doubt this has been the most challenging year in my life. As I have shared in previous posts my wife was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in February of this year. The pain was so raw in the beginning it was a challenge just to make it through the day without overwhelming fear and crushing anxiety. A nine hour surgery was followed by multiple rounds of intensive chemotherapy. The chemotherapy was delivered directly into her abdomen and she was admitted to the hospital for three days for each round. I felt helpless as I watched her get filled with poison in order to kill the cancer.

While most of our friends and family enjoyed their summers and took much needed vacations we were making trips back and forth to the hospital. The weeks between treatment left Jenna in tremendous abdominal pain and wiped her out to the point she needed multiple blood transfusions. I tried to make the best of the summer with our two beautiful daughters. One of our goals was to find the best burger near our home (side note - I love a good burger). We did find two places that have great burgers.

The summer faded quickly and the school year started. The intensity of the start of the year paired with Jenna finishing treatment left us both feeling drained. As we tried to settle into the routine of school year we received great news. Jenna's CT scan after treatment showed that she was NED (No evidence of disease). We celebrated in early October with our first date in months.

With all of the uncertainty, sadness, fear, anger, and anxiousness that filled 2017 there was also love, beauty, kindness, and friendship. The outpouring of support was absolutely amazing. We are so blessed in that regard. I don't think we could have made it through the first few days and weeks without that support. I have often heard the following verse - "The Lord goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you or forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 31:8. I suppose I never had to really put much thought into that verse because my life was fairly easy. I mean we had challenges and things came up, but nothing that turned our world upside down. My faith continues to be tested and I have to believe that God won't leave us.

With all of my focus on Jenna and our girls I had a very difficult time being at my best as a principal. One of the things that is really important to me is developing and maintaining a great culture where teachers and students feel comfortable to take risks. When Jenna was going through her treatment I was missing work and I wasn't able to spend time in classrooms, build relationships, and celebrate risk taking.

The last couple of months I started to feel more like myself and I feel more connected with what we are doing at our school. I am super proud of our teachers who have adopted the use of morning meetings to connect with their students and build classroom community. Our students started to share their stories and the great things that are happening at our school through a weekly podcast. You can follow them on iTunes.

Here is one of my favorite episodes - AGS News Episode 6 

We also have students talking about the books they enjoyed through book talks that we share with our school community.

As the years come to a close I am thankful that Jenna is doing much better. I am hopeful that we can continue to build an awesome school culture and I am comforted knowing that God is always with us.

Tuesday, December 19, 2017

Vulnerability is My Strength

This is the second part of a three part series exploring the connection between failure, vulnerability, and the importance of iteration. In part one I discussed the difference between being a failure and learning from failure. Part two is about how vulnerability is a strength.

Part One - Failure

Part Two - Vulnerability is My Strength

One of the greatest challenges to taking a risk, or stepping out in faith, is the fear of failure. The fear that we open up ourselves to criticism. That inaction and inability to move forward and try something new in our classrooms or schools leads to missed opportunities and stunted personal and professional growth. We choose not to change and play it safe and that hurts ourselves and others. 

Worse yet, is we pretend that we have it altogether, and that we are the experts. We don't want to look bad so we put on this display of confidence which comes across as arrogance. In the podcast "Doing What Only You Can Do, Part 1" by Andy Stanley he discusses this very point "...insecure leaders have a tendency to hide their weaknesses...". I think that statement is so powerful and that idea of hiding your weaknesses can lead to a lack of trust and understanding. When we are arrogant enough to pretend that others can't see our weaknesses it sends the message that we are not approachable or that we don't care about how to make our schools better, we only care if we look good. If we think we are doing a good job of hiding our weaknesses we are not. Andy goes on to say "if you don't know what you are not good just ask the people that work with you, they know." Those we work with know our strengths and areas that are not our strengths. 

A few years ago I had the opportunity to talk with teachers about the leadership of their principals. The teachers were not shy about sharing the  strength and weakness of their principal. One of the key findings was the importance of trust as it relates to teacher agency. In one school teachers discussed how their principal trusts them. 

“she sits back and allows the specialists to speak up about their expertise”  and  “about that trust that she has, that we know what is best, we know how to teach, we have those intuitive skills in place” 
This trust comes from a place where the principal was honest and open with the staff and modeled vulnerability. It was through this vulnerability that she earned the respect of her staff . They described her vulnerability "as taking more risks as a leader and sharing more about herself with the staff". I love that quote and how this principal showed that by being herself led to greater levels of trust with her teachers.

I recently was listening to a podcast where the guest being interviewed stated that your vulnerability is your greatest weapon. I would prefer to say it is your greatest strength. Being vulnerable shows that you are human and allows for a stronger connection with others. Vulnerability demonstrates to others that you are willing to take a risk and are not afraid of failure and that you can learn and grow from failure.

I asked a few friends who have demonstrated vulnerability to create some things that are pretty awesome and why they decided to be vulnerable and take that risk. Here is what they had to say:

Allyson Apsey, co-founder of  #principalsplayhouse, shared that she wanted to model that even with doing the hard work we can be filled with joy, acting a fool for the benefit of others is a good leadership trait, and she wanted to provide a laugh to colleagues across the country.

Jodie Pierpoint, decided she wanted to help teachers, like her self, who are pursuing leadership positions so she created Dream Big Mentorship where Jodie has paired school leaders with aspiring leaders. She shared her vulnerability and risk taking comes from a desire and passion to help others reach their goals of landing a leadership position.

Jon Wennstrom, co-founder of #principalsplayouse, talked about the importance of having a partner that he trusted and how she helped push him out of his comfort zone. He mentioned how Allyson got him excited about the project and then ideas started flowing from there.

We cannot become the leaders or teachers we desire to be without being vulnerable. It is what makes us real and authentic and connects us with others. When we embrace the vulnerability and realize that it is our greatest strength than we can take risks without the fear of failure.

Taking that step and being vulnerable is not easy, and I am sure if you were to ask Allyson, Jodie, or Jon they would talk about how it took quite a bit of courage to take that risk. However, if they did not take that step they would not have created the #principalsplayhouse or the Dream Big Mentorship.

We all have greatness in us, but we need be vulnerable in order to reach it.