Why do I run?

Last week the alarm went off and I just stared at it for a moment. The realization that I was back to work seemed sudden and a little jarring. The 4:30 wake up call was very hard and when I found myself standing on the treadmill at the gym 30 minutes later I wasn't feeling any better. The three mile run was slow and sluggish and the whole time I kept looking down at the time and distance hoping and willing it to move faster. As I barely made it through the three miles I asked myself the question - why do I run?

In wasn't until recently that I used to despise running. It was to the point that if I saw someone running I would say that person is miserable and they are only pretending to be enjoying it. With our life turned upside down and turned into chaos by cancer I needed an outlet. Something and somewhere that I could escape the sadness, pain, and uncertainty. So I turned to the most unlikely source, running. I started out with running shorter distances and quickly fell in love with the rush of endorphins that come from completing a PR in time or distance. The pain I felt was swallowed up with each step. I had a place to find peace and to be able to think. The more I ran the better I felt. So I continued to run and challenge myself with longer distances. Completing the longer distances led to a sense of accomplishment. Learning how to push through barriers in running and learning how to dig deep to persevere has helped immensely with our families circumstances and in life. 

I needed almost everyday last week to get back into the running routine while being back at work. It wasn't until the last run of the week that I felt the joy of running, the endorphins, the sense of accomplishment and I was reminded of why I run. 

I run not because it is easy. I run because it is hard. I run because it helps me deal with challenging situations. It is through running that I get closer to the person that I want to be. 

There are several people that I want to thank for helping me with my running journey. The first is Jenna, who is the strongest and bravest person I know. She pushes through barriers each and every day and sets an example for me. Two colleagues come to mind as they have shared their experiences and I have learned quite a bit from them as well as being inspired by their journey as runners. The Two Gomers have been a source of laughter and encouragement. Their podcast is relatable, inspirational, and funny. I highly recommend it to any runner or someone who is just starting out on their running journey.