Year in Review

Before I write write my #Oneword2018 I wanted to reflect on 2017. Without a doubt this has been the most challenging year in my life. As I have shared in previous posts my wife was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in February of this year. The pain was so raw in the beginning it was a challenge just to make it through the day without overwhelming fear and crushing anxiety. A nine hour surgery was followed by multiple rounds of intensive chemotherapy. The chemotherapy was delivered directly into her abdomen and she was admitted to the hospital for three days for each round. I felt helpless as I watched her get filled with poison in order to kill the cancer.

While most of our friends and family enjoyed their summers and took much needed vacations we were making trips back and forth to the hospital. The weeks between treatment left Jenna in tremendous abdominal pain and wiped her out to the point she needed multiple blood transfusions. I tried to make the best of the summer with our two beautiful daughters. One of our goals was to find the best burger near our home (side note - I love a good burger). We did find two places that have great burgers.

The summer faded quickly and the school year started. The intensity of the start of the year paired with Jenna finishing treatment left us both feeling drained. As we tried to settle into the routine of school year we received great news. Jenna's CT scan after treatment showed that she was NED (No evidence of disease). We celebrated in early October with our first date in months.

With all of the uncertainty, sadness, fear, anger, and anxiousness that filled 2017 there was also love, beauty, kindness, and friendship. The outpouring of support was absolutely amazing. We are so blessed in that regard. I don't think we could have made it through the first few days and weeks without that support. I have often heard the following verse - "The Lord goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you or forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 31:8. I suppose I never had to really put much thought into that verse because my life was fairly easy. I mean we had challenges and things came up, but nothing that turned our world upside down. My faith continues to be tested and I have to believe that God won't leave us.

With all of my focus on Jenna and our girls I had a very difficult time being at my best as a principal. One of the things that is really important to me is developing and maintaining a great culture where teachers and students feel comfortable to take risks. When Jenna was going through her treatment I was missing work and I wasn't able to spend time in classrooms, build relationships, and celebrate risk taking.

The last couple of months I started to feel more like myself and I feel more connected with what we are doing at our school. I am super proud of our teachers who have adopted the use of morning meetings to connect with their students and build classroom community. Our students started to share their stories and the great things that are happening at our school through a weekly podcast. You can follow them on iTunes.

Here is one of my favorite episodes - AGS News Episode 6 

We also have students talking about the books they enjoyed through book talks that we share with our school community.

As the years come to a close I am thankful that Jenna is doing much better. I am hopeful that we can continue to build an awesome school culture and I am comforted knowing that God is always with us.

Vulnerability is My Strength

This is the second part of a three part series exploring the connection between failure, vulnerability, and the importance of iteration. In part one I discussed the difference between being a failure and learning from failure. Part two is about how vulnerability is a strength.

Part One - Failure

Part Two - Vulnerability is My Strength

One of the greatest challenges to taking a risk, or stepping out in faith, is the fear of failure. The fear that we open up ourselves to criticism. That inaction and inability to move forward and try something new in our classrooms or schools leads to missed opportunities and stunted personal and professional growth. We choose not to change and play it safe and that hurts ourselves and others. 

Worse yet, is we pretend that we have it altogether, and that we are the experts. We don't want to look bad so we put on this display of confidence which comes across as arrogance. In the podcast "Doing What Only You Can Do, Part 1" by Andy Stanley he discusses this very point "...insecure leaders have a tendency to hide their weaknesses...". I think that statement is so powerful and that idea of hiding your weaknesses can lead to a lack of trust and understanding. When we are arrogant enough to pretend that others can't see our weaknesses it sends the message that we are not approachable or that we don't care about how to make our schools better, we only care if we look good. If we think we are doing a good job of hiding our weaknesses we are not. Andy goes on to say "if you don't know what you are not good just ask the people that work with you, they know." Those we work with know our strengths and areas that are not our strengths. 

A few years ago I had the opportunity to talk with teachers about the leadership of their principals. The teachers were not shy about sharing the  strength and weakness of their principal. One of the key findings was the importance of trust as it relates to teacher agency. In one school teachers discussed how their principal trusts them. 

“she sits back and allows the specialists to speak up about their expertise”  and  “about that trust that she has, that we know what is best, we know how to teach, we have those intuitive skills in place” 

This trust comes from a place where the principal was honest and open with the staff and modeled vulnerability. It was through this vulnerability that she earned the respect of her staff . They described her vulnerability "as taking more risks as a leader and sharing more about herself with the staff". I love that quote and how this principal showed that by being herself led to greater levels of trust with her teachers.

I recently was listening to a podcast where the guest being interviewed stated that your vulnerability is your greatest weapon. I would prefer to say it is your greatest strength. Being vulnerable shows that you are human and allows for a stronger connection with others. Vulnerability demonstrates to others that you are willing to take a risk and are not afraid of failure and that you can learn and grow from failure.

I asked a few friends who have demonstrated vulnerability to create some things that are pretty awesome and why they decided to be vulnerable and take that risk. Here is what they had to say:

Allyson Apsey, co-founder of  #principalsplayhouse, shared that she wanted to model that even with doing the hard work we can be filled with joy, acting a fool for the benefit of others is a good leadership trait, and she wanted to provide a laugh to colleagues across the country.

Jodie Pierpoint, decided she wanted to help teachers, like her self, who are pursuing leadership positions so she created Dream Big Mentorship where Jodie has paired school leaders with aspiring leaders. She shared her vulnerability and risk taking comes from a desire and passion to help others reach their goals of landing a leadership position.

Jon Wennstrom, co-founder of #principalsplayouse, talked about the importance of having a partner that he trusted and how she helped push him out of his comfort zone. He mentioned how Allyson got him excited about the project and then ideas started flowing from there.

We cannot become the leaders or teachers we desire to be without being vulnerable. It is what makes us real and authentic and connects us with others. When we embrace the vulnerability and realize that it is our greatest strength than we can take risks without the fear of failure.

Taking that step and being vulnerable is not easy, and I am sure if you were to ask Allyson, Jodie, or Jon they would talk about how it took quite a bit of courage to take that risk. However, if they did not take that step they would not have created the #principalsplayhouse or the Dream Big Mentorship.

We all have greatness in us, but we need be vulnerable in order to reach it.

Failure

This blog is the first part of the three part series where I am exploring some concepts that continually seem to be at the forefront of my mind. It seems that the idea of failure, vulnerability, and iteration are concepts and ideas that come up in the books that I am reading or when I am listening to various podcasts. I see these three themes connected to each other. So I am trying something new with my blog - a three part series.

Part One - Failure

I have been fascinated with the idea of failure and how people respond to failure and why some people can move forward while others get stuck. I am drawn to the stories of people who overcome disastrous failures and end up achieving great success. Perhaps I envy their ability to not get overwhelmed by their failure and instead they seem to allow that failure to drive them towards their success.

Merriam-Webster defines failure as a lack of success or falling short. These words can haunt you for a long time. They can be soul crushing especially when you pour everything into that idea or project. We too often shy away from moving forward or making another attempt. We shut down, yet there are others that walk away from failure seemingly unscathed. Why is that?

Despite having potentially catastrophic starts to their careers and ambitions these famous people demonstrated overcoming likely career altering setbacks.

• James Dyson  needed over 5,000 prototypes and 15 years to perfect the Dyson vacuum. 

• Dr. Suess had his first book rejected by 27 different publishers.

• Harrison Ford was told, after a small role in his first movie, that he'd never succeed in the movie business.

• Herb Brooks was the last player cut from the 1960 U.S. Olympic Hockey Team, 20 years later he was the coach for the "Miracle on Ice Team" that won the 1980 Gold Medal. 

• Oprah Winfrey was fired as an anchor in Baltimore for getting "too emotionally invested in her stories".

• Walt Disney was fired by a newspaper editor because "he lacked imagination and had no good ideas.

• In 1954 the stage manager of the Grand Ole Opry fired Elvis after one performance and told him "You ain't going nowhere, son. You ought to go back to driving a truck"

It can be easy to take a look at this brief list of famous people and think those are great stories. I sometimes do this as well. I don't always see how these examples relate to me. These are famous people who had greatness in them that was undiscovered, or at least that is what I think at times. However, these are real people, like you and me, and we can learn from them.

John Maxwell states that "the first important step in weathering failure is learning not to personalize it". Well for me that continues to be a lesson that I need to learn. It is so hard not to personalize failure when I care so much or give everything I have and come up short. Carol Dweck adds "...failure can be a painful experience. But it doesn't define you." That is powerful. What both Maxwell and Dweck are saying is that you are not a failure just because you have experienced failure. That seems to be the distinction and one that James Dyson, Dr. Suess, Harrison Ford, Herb Brooks, Oprah Winfrey, Walt Disney, Elvis Presley, and many others have made in order to learn and move on from their initial failures.

"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed" -Michael Jordan

One of the greatest, if not the greatest basketball player of all time, recognizes the distinction between failing and being a failure. This lesson of knowing and believing that there is a difference between failing and being a failure is so important for me. And I believe it is just as important for our students,

Stay tuned for part 2 - Vulnerability