Long Road

My last blog was five months ago. A lot has transpired in those five months and I every time I sat down to write and reflect I couldn't bring myself to do it. My wife, Jenna, who is my best friend and the a fabulous mother to our two daughters, Aleigh and Caitlin was diagnosed with Stave IVb Ovarian Cancer. Our world was turned upside down and continues to feel like we can't get our feet under us.

There have been many challenging side effects to her treatment and surgery which has left Jenna with the inability to drive and needing to lay down because of the abdominal pain. The deliver of chemo IP (intrapertoneal) creates massive discomfort in her abdomen, causes dehydration (we have had one visit to the ER), intestinal discomfort, tinnitus and hearing issues. Through all of this she continues to be focused on the well being of both of our girls.

One of the biggest things that I love about Jenna is how she has been my number one cheerleader. Even though she is in an incredible amount of pain she shares with me that she doesn't want all of this to impact my enthusiasm for my job, leadership, students, teaching, and learning. Watching someone battle cancer is extremely hard. I often feel as if I am helpless and unable to provide any relief to Jenna's pain. She has two more treatment cycles and we are hopeful that she there will be no evidence of disease when she is finished with chemotherapy. It has been a long road and we are almost at the end.

Through this journey I have learned a number of things that I hope will help me be a better husband, father, and principal. We have also been so blessed with the support of friends and colleagues. While there has been a lot of sadness, we have also experienced moments of joy, gratitude, laughter, and grace.

I don't know what the future will hold and I guess that none of us really do. During the first few months of Jenna's battle I felt lost and it was hard for me to focus. I intentionally took a break from blogging and social media as it was hard for me to feel supportive and positive of those in my PLN. While the journey is not yet over I have started to slowly re-engage on Twitter. The #dadsasprincipals is one movement that I have connected with as being a dad and husband is the absolutely greatest. I am hopeful that Jenna will be able to beat this dreaded disease and that we will be able to grow old together. I wish that I could do something that would guarantee that and knowing that there is nothing I can do is hard. All I can control is my actions and my ability to make the most of my time when I am at school and when I am at home. As Jenna and I often discuss when facing the unknown future is we just have to take one step at a time and let God take care of the rest. It has been a long road and we know there is a lot more to go.