Overwhelmed by Homework

As a dad you have so many hopes and dreams for your child. You want the best for them and give them as many opportunities as possible to explore and discover their talents and passions. As they grow you support their interests and education. You help them with their reading and math. You work with them on school projects. You beam with pride as you see them succeed. You watch as they move into the older grades in elementary school. You help with homework, especially with math as it gets a little trickier. As they move into middle school the homework increases and you watch as they try and balance homework, friendships, extra curricular activities, and family commitments. You help them with learning how to manage their time. 

I find it hard to believe that our daughter has reached high school. She is a great student and we are so proud of her. We encouraged her to get involved and make the most of her experiences. She started off her freshman year with taking some rigorous classes (Honors Geometry, Honors English II, AP Human Geography, Spanish 2, Honors Biology). She made the JV Dance Team and was asked to choreograph the crosstown game half time dance. We are so proud of her because she is a good student, dancer, daughter, and friend. Proud of her because she works hard and is a diligent student. Proud of her because she has a tremendous amount of grit. 

As the year has progressed we noticed a change. She is often tired and stressed. We chalked that up to the change with being in high school. However, we noticed that she was constantly doing homework and it always seems as if she gets more every night. She would get home from practice, eat a quick dinner, and then off to her room to do 3+ hours of homework every night. We watched as she worked harder and harder to stay above water. And then we saw her drawing. A drawing that gives you a sense of how she feels. How she is being weighed down by the amount of homework she is assigned day after day. 

We saw this picture and our hearts broke. Our hearts broke because this was not the experience we wanted her to have in high school. Sure we knew she would have to work hard to do well in class, but not at the cost of other experiences and opportunities. As parents we are upset as we watch teachers pile on the work without thinking about the impact on students. 

As an educator I see the assignments come home and I get so confused as to how these assignments are helping her grasp key concepts. Instead, the assignments are often worksheets, making flash cards, completing packets, or memorizing vocabulary. I don't understand how these assignments are helping students. 

When I was an elementary school teacher I rarely assigned homework beyond some math practice and reading. I have never been a fan of worksheets or busy work. I would tell the parents of my students that homework should never be a battle at home. If their child was stuck or confused on something to let me know so I could help them in class. 

I watch my daughter experience something totally different as a student and I ask myself how is this possible. How can teachers continue to assign work and not provide students with meaningful feedback on that work? Why are they not thinking of ways to engage students in their learning? What are they hoping to gain by giving students so much work to do at home? Why are they continuing with practices that don't impact student learning? How do they where their students are in regards to the essential questions or learning targets? How do they even know who is doing the homework? 

We need to do a better job as educators. We need to think about what we are requiring of our students  in regards to homework and how that will be meaningful for our students. We need to provide students with actionable feedback about their learning and provide support for them. We need to challenge them, but not by giving them more to do. We need to stop overwhelming them. 

That's not me...

When I was a teacher I would pride myself in building relationships with my students by eating lunch with them, playing at recess, asking questions about their interests, and attending their plays or  sporting events. I would work hard and was devoted to my students. I thought I was a good teacher. When I would see a teacher that interacted with a student in a negative way I would think that's not me. That's not the way I would treat a student.

And then I would get into a power struggle with a student about finishing their work or complying with our class guidelines. 

Being a dad of two girls is beyond awesome. I love them unconditionally. The day they both were born were two of the greatest days of my life. They make me laugh, they bring me tremendous joy, and I have truly enjoyed watching them grow into young women. In my time as a teacher and administrator I have witnessed thousands of parent-child interactions. When I would see a less than positive interaction between a child and their parent I would think that's never going to be me.  I would never treat my child that way.

And then I remember running behind as we were leaving the house for school. I was angry and frustrated with my youngest for her tardiness and not being ready to go. I felt the need to share my frustration with her as I drove her to school. It was not a positive interaction. 

I am blessed to be married for over 17 years to my best friend. She has been my number one supporter, closest confident, amazing wife, and a wonderful mother to our girls. We have been through a lot since we first got married. Starting with  moving across the country after getting married, both in graduate school while working, raising two kids, building two houses, and the both of us moving into administration. All of these things have brought us closer together. 

 Recently we witnessed two different couples  argue in public.  On the second occasion the argument took place in line at the grocery store and was about buying a box of noodles. The argument concluded with the husband storming off to go to the car and leaving his  wife behind. It was obvious that she was embarrassed and ashamed as she continued to wait in line. I thought to myself I would never do that, that's not me. I would never let an argument get to the point where I storm off.

And then I think about the times that I have argued with Jenna and how I wasn't always the best version of myself in those moments and how easily it would have been to storm off. 

Stephen Covey has this great quote - "We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior. Isn't that the truth! We see things in others and often think we wouldn't behave in such a way and yet we often do. 

My #Oneword 2017 is present. I really want to focus on being in the moment so that I can be the best version of myself. I want to take the time to reflect and think about my growth in becoming more present. Blogging has helped me reflect and think about my goals, work, leadership, teaching, friendships, and family. I know that I won't be perfect and that I will miss the mark more often than I would like. However, I do have the responsibility to get better. To learn from my failures. 

Present

This year my one word is present. I think this is a word that I have been wrestling with for a few years. As a principal, husband, father, and for a number of years a student, I have tried and failed to juggle responsibilities and being fully present at home. I often would be thinking of the next thing I needed to take care of on my list and usually that would be work related or something to do with graduate classes. For most of the my marriage and the lives of my daughters I have been in school (Master's degree in Teaching and Learning, a two year ELL endorsement program, second Master's degree, and finally an Ed.D). I have gotten used to always being pulled in different directions and not always feeling fully present at home or at work. 

While in the Ed.D. program I thought I would focus and work hard to finish in a timely matter so that I could than focus on my family. While I was busy for three years in classes and with the dissertation my girls continued to grow. I realized that they are not little girls anymore.

Aleigh is now a 14 year old freshman and Caitlin is 11 and a 6th grader. I only have three years left with Aleigh before she goes off to college and Caitlin has entered the stage where peer relationships are important to her. I need to be fully present with them so that I can really listen to them. I need to understand their hopes and dreams so I can support them. I don't have the pull of classes or a dissertation to finish to be the reasons to not be present.

This word will challenge me this year, but I honestly believe that this word has been placed on my heart. I look at my girls I am so proud of them and who they are becoming. I just don't want to have any regret that I was not always present when I was with them. 

Thankful

Thankful is a word we often hear and spend time using during this holiday season. It is a word, that perhaps we should explore so that we have a better understanding of what it means and how being thankful can change your heart and perspective. Merriam-Webster's defines thankful as being glad that something has happened or not happened, that someone or something exists...

In doing a quick Google image search one can find dozens of images that contain quotes on being thankful or the meaning of thankfulness. Here is an example of one such image. 

In the book Unbroken, author Laura Hillenbrand describes the life of Louis Zamperini whose B-24 bomber crashed in the Pacific Ocean during World War II. Louis, along with three other members of the crew, were adrift on a raft for 47 days before being discovered by a Japanese ship. 

Louis shared a moment of gratitude he had while he was suffering from extreme starvation and dehydration. This short Audible clip gives a brief account of his gratitude. The first time I listened to his story I was amazed at how someone who was lost at sea and little hope for rescue could show gratitude. That someone in his situation could be thankful. 

His story and ability to be thankful for the peaceful ocean and serene skies reminded me of something I heard from Andy Andrews. He was giving advice to someone who was having some struggles and feeling overwhelmed in their situation. His response was for this person to be thankful and show gratitude. He shared that she should not focus her thoughts inward, rather outward. That she can change her perspective and thinking by writing thank you cards, perhaps one or two a day, to those people in her life that had a positive impact on her. This act of giving thanks would change her perspective and outlook about her circumstances.

Jon Gordon, like Andy Andrews, believes that the practice of being thankful can change your perspective. Here are two tips he shares on the practice being thankful:

1. Take a Daily Thank You Walk - I started this practice 15 years ago and it changed my life. Take a simple 10-30 minute walk each day and say out loud what you are thankful for. This will set you up for a positive day.

2. Say Thank You at Work - When Doug Conant was the CEO of Campbell Soup he wrote approximately 30,000 thank you notes to his employees and energized the company in the process. Energize and engage your co-workers and team by letting them know you are grateful for them and their work. Organizations spend billions of dollars collectively on recognition programs but the best and cheapest recognition program of all consists of a sincere THANK YOU. And of course don't forget to say thank you to your clients and customers too.

In Hacking Leadership, Joe Sanfelippo and Tony Sinanis, discuss the importance of writing positive notes to staff members and sending cards to family members. The idea of recognizing the work of teachers and staff members and thanking them for their commitment to their students is a great way to build a positive culture.

Jeff Zoul often mentions the idea of writing two personal notes every day to staff members. This has two impacts. The first is it shows that a leader recognizes the work that a teacher is doing and celebrates that work. The second is it brings joy to the leader who is celebrating the great things that are happening in the building. This act of thankfulness brings such a positive energy and impacts the culture in a huge way. 

This year I am challenging myself to practice habits of giving thanks. To spend time thinking of all the things that I am thankful for and to show appreciation. I am challenging myself to not only give thanks during the holidays, but to continue this practice throughout the school year. It is my desire that this practice of giving thanks will become a habit and eventually become a way of thinking that I will continually embrace. 

It is my sincere hope that you can be thankful for all of the blessings that you have in your life. 

Thank you

When I was a younger student I had a really hard time. I often felt lost and unsure of what was expected. I was that student who needed his shoes tied. Who needed directions stated multiple time. The student who always had that confused look on his face. Having a late August birthday and starting kindergarten as a four year old was not the greatest thing for me. I guess it became pretty clear as the school year progressed that I was not ready for first grade. My teacher and parents made the decision that I would spend half of my day in a developmental first grade class. I ended up with an IEP. Thanks to my mom who saves everything I still have the original IEP. 

I am amazed and thankful that in 1979 there was help and support for a student like me. A student who felt lost and confused. A student who needed more time and more practice. A student who needed someone in their corner. A student who needed a teacher that cared. I can't say thank you enough to Mrs. Peters. If it wasn't for her and early intervention I am not sure I would have been able to close the gap. Her time, patience, and care made such a huge difference. It changed my path. She believed in me. 

Thanks to Mrs. Peters I exited special education and joined my peers in second grade. I was able to move through the rest of my time in school with my peers without any further intervention. I went on to become a teacher, interventionist, student services coordinator.  And now I am a principal. I earned two master's degrees and an EdD. Mrs. Peters along with many other teachers pushed me to become the person I am today. Inspired me to move beyond what I thought I could do. These dedicated teachers made a huge difference. So thank you! Thank you for everything! 

I also want to say thanks to all of the teachers that spend time investing in their students. Thank you for building relationships with your students. Thank you for caring. Thank you for investing your time and effort to make a difference. Thank you for choosing to go the extra mile. Thank your for never giving up. Thank you for being a teacher. 

It is the Small Things

We often wait in life for those big dramatic moments to define who we are and how we want to be perceived. Moments like making the team, winning the big game, getting into the school of our dreams, graduating from that school, getting our first job, the first promotion, or receiving an honorary award. These moments that are substantial and meaningful are the moments that we want to remembered for and how we want to define ourselves. We work hard for these accomplishments and many times we wait patiently for their arrival. Yet, as we wait for the big moments life is happening and we often miss what is right in front of us.

We are moving so fast from one thing on our to do list to the next. We are so focused on getting things done that we don't always see what is right in front of us.  As a principal I start my day the same way. I am outside assisting with car drop off and then I come into the building to do the morning announcements. It is easy to not be fully present during these routines as I am thinking about how to respond to a recent parent email or needing to follow up with a student or teacher.

A few weeks ago I was reminded to stop and pay attention to the small things. The first thing that happened was a friendly comment made by a parent who was dropping of their child. She thanked me for being outside everyday and having a great attitude. I was caught of guard and quickly said thanks. Her comment reminded me of why I am out there everyday. To greet our students with a smile, fist bump, and encouragement.

The second moment that reminded me to slow down and to be present occurred during the morning announcements. One of  the speech paths in our Early Childhood program was promoting AAC (Augmented and Alternative Communication) awareness month. She asked if she could have one of our EC students lead the pledge using his device. I thought that would be awesome. When the day arrived for the student to lead the pledge I had a crazy morning and I almost forgot the student was going to be leading the pledge. His mom was there to take pictures and our district communications director was there to video the event. As I watched the student lead the pledge and saw the pride in his mom's face I couldn't help but get choked up. It was so awesome and it was such a great reminder that it is these everyday moments that mean everything to our students and families.

We won't be remembered for those big monumental events. We will be remembered for the small things. Those regular everyday moments. How we interact with those around us. How we encourage others to be their best. How we give opportunities for students to shine. How we challenge others to be their best. When we step out of the way and realize it is not about us. We will be remembered how we treated those around us in those everyday moments. 

Power of Relationships

We know that we can no longer work in isolation to meet the needs of our students. We need to be able to work together in order to plan for instruction, create engaging lessons, and to determine how to support all of our students. The movement from working in isolation to collaboration can be rather challenging. It means becoming vulnerable with your colleagues so that you can have honest conversations about your teaching practices. The thought of sharing your truth with others and sharing that you may be struggling with implementing a teaching strategy or that your students are not responding to your instruction can be overwhelming. We can play it safe and do what we have always have done in our classrooms. It is comfortable and often staying comfortable is what we like to do. However, staying comfortable means that we aren't growing and if we aren't growing our students aren't growing.

Unfortunately, we know that teaching and learning can be an isolating endeavor. Dan Lortie (1975) in his seminal work writes about the difficulty teachers have in changing their practices. He states that because teacher collaboration does not always play a role in teachers work that teaching can become isolating and individualistic. Professional learning communities were created partially to remove the isolation and individualism that exists for teachers in our schools. The very nature of professional learning communities requires teachers to belong to a community.  Teaching should not be isolating and individualistic, with teachers repeating the same practices and lessons year after year that  do not meet the needs of students.

One of the keys to schools becoming learning communities is the amount of social capital that is built between the members of the learning community. The concept of social capital was introduced by L.J. Hanifan (1916) to describe how schools in rural areas can be used as community centers. Hanifan alludes to the fact that individuals who are isolated end up helpless socially and that everyone has a desire to be part of a larger group, to satisfy one’s social needs. James Coleman (1998) describes several forms of social capital: obligations, expectations, and trustworthiness which is the idea that there is trust that obligations will be repaid; information channels where information can be acquired by use of social relations; norms and effective sanctions where individuals put the interests of the group before their own self interests. Don Cohen and Laurence Prusak (2001) define the concept this way “social capital bridges the space between people”.  Andy Hargreaves and Michael Fullan (2012) describe social capital in schools as the quality of the relationships an individual has with their colleagues and how that relationships influences expectations, trust, increasing one’s own knowledge.

It is abundantly clear that building relationships with other educators has an impact on the individual and organization. Bo Rothstein (2005) states that the amount of social capital in an organization is determined by the amount of the social networks that the individuals of an organization have and the degree to which the individuals trust their contacts. Everyone in the organization is responsible for creating the connections necessary for high levels of social capital.

Principals need to create an environment where teachers can connect with one another and talk about practices and where teachers have a voice and can participate in the decision making process around instructional practices and strategies that should be implemented.  Principals, also need to develop a culture where collaboration and relational trust are the norm. This appears to be the crux of a principal’s work, which is to lead the teachers in the ability to work together and put the interests of the group before their own self-interest. As a principal I constantly think about the importance of building relationships. I need to create the conditions for teachers to be vulnerable, to be honest, to build relationships with one another, and to create that strong social network. I also need to look for ways that I can support teachers as they work together to ensure that students are learning and growing.

In the recent reading I have been doing the idea of building relationships and relational trust have been jumping out at me.

"As leaders in education, our job is not to control those whom we serve but to unleash their talent. If innovation is going to be a priority in education, we need to create a culture where trust is the norm." - George Cuoros, The Innovator's Mindset: Empowering Learning, Unleash Talent, and Lead a Culture of Creativity.

"If we're truly concerned with doing what is best for kids, we must get out of our isolation and connect with others - in and out of our profession." Todd Nesloney and Adam Welcome, Kids Deserve It: Pushing Boundaries and Challenging Conventional Thinking.

"Great principals never forget that it is people, not programs, who determine the quality of a school" Todd Whitaker, What Great Principals Differently: 18 Things That Matter Most.

"Educators, like any other professionals, need peer-to-peer interactions and reciprocal investments in order to grow and develop" Todd Whitaker, Jeffrey Zoul, and Jimmy Casas, What Connected Educators Do Differently.

Relationships can make or break the culture of a building. They influence how teachers work together, how they co-create, how they learn from one another. I urge you to spend time cultivating relationships, get to know the students and teachers in your building, understand their passions. Leaders need to support their teachers, provide space and autonomy for them to create, and celebrate their risk taking. Without strong connections, that social capital, it is hard to move a school forward. Cultivating relationships and building social networks should be the focus of our work if we want to truly impact students.